A collection of thoughts and facts that are not interesting. Exclamation points are not allowed.
November 30, 2002
Laughter is the best medicine for non laughter.
If non-laughter is a disease at all.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Posted at 6:27 PM, by Joe.
That made my eyes sting.
Posted at 3:12 PM, by werenotdeep.
you spin me right 'round, baby. like a dradle, ooooh yeah.
Posted at 2:01 AM, by razamin.
November 28, 2002
Im thankful for yo mamma. ... no really, she baked me a pie the other day. it was quite tasty.
Posted at 8:55 PM, by razamin.
Tofurkey. Mashed potatoes and tofurkey. I'll eat so much mashed potatoes and tofurkey that I'll either transcend the space-time barrier or barf.
Posted at 9:15 AM, by emily oi!.
November 27, 2002
When your hands are as cold as mine, then you'll understand how it feels to be a fucking lizard. Global warming my ass...
Posted at 6:31 PM, by razamin.
November 26, 2002
My name is Bond. Bond Rolphstien. How ya doin?
Posted at 8:57 PM, by werenotdeep.
I love all you guys. But I really love my snuff porn.
Posted at 12:02 AM, by werenotdeep.
November 24, 2002
Climb down off of that giant fruit, children. You'll spoil your giant mother's appetite.
Posted at 4:36 AM, by werenotdeep.
Fuck fuck fuck. I hate that. You know?
Posted at 1:13 AM, by Joe.
November 23, 2002
Yes, that is a fish in my sock. So what's it to you?
Posted at 2:31 AM, by razamin.
from an educational video about heroin use "He shared this experiance with a certain Dr. Bob."
Posted at 2:27 AM, by razamin.
The Trondson-Clinger Instant Joke Machine
Ingredients: Jesus H. Christ, our Lord and Savior, and one un-Jesuslike thing.
1. Slowly mix all ingredients together until you have a coherent thought. Voila.
I was never much of a religious man until Jesus gave me that rimjob.
I never knew how important Jesus was to my life, until he let me snort coke off his ass when my mirror broke.
There's an infinite number of things that are un-Jesuslike. This is what makes it A Joke Machine.
Posted at 1:22 AM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
November 21, 2002
Of course they're cops, honey. That's how they keep all those kittens from being eaten.
Posted at 8:08 PM, by werenotdeep.
There is a table in the room, and a bowl on the table.
In the bowl is candy corn, by the bowl is a kitten who likes to eat candy corn.
I will not let him eat it.
Posted at 5:59 AM, by Joe.
November 20, 2002
Sticky sweet treat.
Posted at 11:25 AM, by Ozzyopolis.
I'm walking on sunshine, and it doesn't feel good.
It actually burns quite a bit.
Posted at 5:11 AM, by Joe.
Many people will roll down the hill, but few actually get anywhere...
Posted at 5:04 AM, by Joe.
I just don't see where the man comes from thinking he can just walk into a Denny's and start marrying people to each other like that.
Posted at 12:27 AM, by werenotdeep.
November 19, 2002
Toast, cake, butter, rolls, croutons, baugettes, waffles, whatever. They're all types of bread, really. Well, not the butter of course....
Posted at 8:13 PM, by werenotdeep.
This may not answer you question,
but sometimes I eat so much meat that I feel like a big piece of meat.
Posted at 8:06 PM, by Joe.
This is how you do it. This is how you start.
Posted at 11:09 AM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
Once upon a time there were 3 little bears, who lived in a house by the sea. Then one day a big bad wolf came along and pushed all 3 of them off of the balcony, into the sea below. Moral of the story: balconys are the death of walking, talking bears. The end.
Posted at 1:42 AM, by razamin.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're now floating in space.
Posted at 12:58 AM, by Imelda.
November 17, 2002
You want some of this? Do you? Okay. Here, have some.
Posted at 10:05 PM, by werenotdeep.
Can you wait a little longer?
A little longer?
Well, I just thought you'd want to wait for your dentist to sober up a bit.
Posted at 5:22 PM, by Joe.
November 15, 2002
Okay, so who's gonna be in charge of telling grandma that it's her job to smear dog crap on the minister as soon as the football game is over with? Come on, I volunteered to do the dishes.
Posted at 11:15 PM, by werenotdeep.
November 14, 2002
No croutons? A pox on you all...
Posted at 10:31 PM, by razamin.
November 13, 2002
La porta è fatta di minestra.
The door is made of soup.
Posted at 12:58 AM, by razamin.
November 12, 2002
Just so that there's no doubt to the fact of whether or not this was consentual, could you please sign here? Feel free to take the time to read the whole thing.
Well, no, this isn't really normal, but you're special.
Posted at 11:15 PM, by werenotdeep.
I just had a dream about the first woman pope and she was really hot and she wanted Mel Gibson bad.
Posted at 9:41 AM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
November 11, 2002
Yes, sir. It's Love with a capital L.
No, sir. Just the L.
Posted at 8:20 PM, by emily oi!.
Thou art the Mighty and the Powerful.
Posted at 6:38 AM, by emily oi!.
November 10, 2002
Neck so thick
She could eat a brick
If it's made by Frito-Lay
Posted at 8:44 PM, by Ozzyopolis.
That was definately the warmest ice cube ever.
Posted at 6:57 PM, by emily oi!.
November 09, 2002
A college student's dream is to move up and work at the local mall's food court at Panda Express.
Posted at 3:03 PM, by Imelda.
Excuse me, Mister Klideman, I hate to interrupt, but I am afraid that I will have to remove myself from the panel. By remarkable coencidence, I recognize the mystery guests' voice. We went to highschool together.
Posted at 11:45 AM, by werenotdeep.
It will be an absolute value birthday.
Posted at 9:38 AM, by emily oi!.
November 08, 2002
Sincerely reviewing a previous issue,
he referred to race right.
Hello? He doesn't touch anything with a pole.
Posted at 6:40 AM, by matthew.
November 07, 2002
I pretty sure that's against the law, but I'm also pretty sure that's devil's food cake.
Can you scoop that out for me? My favorite.
Posted at 6:31 PM, by Joe.
monkeyassault get to the choppa
Posted at 9:22 AM, by matthew.
November 06, 2002
And I even made reservations... for shame... for shame.
Posted at 11:26 PM, by razamin.
Where do they get these clowns?
Posted at 9:24 PM, by werenotdeep.
So I sometimes push old ladies around for no reason, can't you get past that?
Posted at 4:30 PM, by Joe.
Is fresh, better?
Posted at 2:26 AM, by Imelda.
November 05, 2002
I'll bet that flying insects look like people when they wear wraparound sunglasses.
Posted at 8:17 PM, by werenotdeep.
I think I can speak most authoritatively on this proposed measure, having been a gay man in a taxicab once myself.
Posted at 8:16 PM, by werenotdeep.
This will be remembered as the sentence that was never ended - oh wait, no it won't.
Posted at 5:45 PM, by Joe.
November 04, 2002
Just what is the hokey-pokey all about?
Posted at 8:45 PM, by razamin.
November 03, 2002
Posted at 11:40 AM, by emily oi!.
I awoke on my seventeenth birthday, and everything suddenly became clear. The mysteries of the universe had been revealed to me in my pre-adulthood. I was ready to face the world and everything in it.
A big, dirty lie.
Posted at 10:42 AM, by emily oi!.
and which sensation is that, mr. york?
Posted at 1:46 AM, by razamin.
November 02, 2002
When you hear a choir singing in Latin while the enemy is approaching;
I doubt the battle will go well for you.
Posted at 10:19 PM, by Joe.
Average speed of Heinz ketchup from the mouth of an opened bottle: 25 miles per year.
Posted at 1:33 PM, by Ozzyopolis.
November 01, 2002
You're just a dirty little springboard for my google fame.
Posted at 6:30 AM, by matthew.
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