A collection of thoughts and facts that are not interesting. Exclamation points are not allowed.
May 31, 2003
"Hi, i am Wilma, im a linedancer. This is not the kind of thing I usuly advize ppl on, but the books of the analytic philosopher Bertrand Russel all exhibit the pretense that they should serve as textbook style holders of supreme fact, but are as much conjecture as the idealist principles which he was refuting."
Posted at 12:13 AM, by Joe.
May 30, 2003
There are lists that contain two regular sets of words, and they are written on a peice of paper that is laid in glass in the top of a table in the attic of a historic refinery in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Their counterpart, which is a shorter list containing about fifteen words that aren't so regular, has never been located, but it is beleived that it still exists and is tucked away somewhere, most likely unbeknownst to the owner, in Indiana, Illinois, or southern Michigan, most likely.
Posted at 6:17 PM, by werenotdeep.
May 29, 2003
They're beginning to come out sort of flaky and paper-like. My boogers, I mean.
Posted at 10:39 AM, by werenotdeep.
May 28, 2003
There are several words that I thought I'd never get sick of hearing. You, on the other hand, tend to use words that I had already guessed I would get sick of.
Posted at 1:10 PM, by werenotdeep.
If I were holding a graduation on the school's lawn, I'd say it were being held in/on the "lautotorium."
Posted at 2:07 AM, by razamin.
May 26, 2003
Whistling whilst winning at Whist.
Posted at 12:51 PM, by Joe.
May 25, 2003
they tell me i was walking at eight months, and swaggering at ten.
Posted at 11:03 PM, by emily oi!.
May 24, 2003
nine heads? that's one crazy dandelion.
Posted at 9:24 AM, by emily oi!.
May 23, 2003
"Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said...and, uh, said...uh, well...bloody 'ell - I forgot what I said...something about a skull - I'm pretty sure it was gray...and there was a bit in there about me having some sort of power and whatnot...fuck - I know it'll come to me, just gimme a sec...”
Posted at 6:14 PM, by Das Hooligan.
I was just marching along when I noticed that nobody had invented Marching Band music yet, so everybody wondered what the heck I was doing with this tuba walking down the street by myself.
Posted at 5:02 PM, by werenotdeep.
Waseca is a hole in my heart.
Posted at 10:09 AM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
May 22, 2003
Benadryl gives you two options; be miserable with allergies, or be a mindless, narcoleptic zombie for 12 hours, regardless of how much sleep you've had.
Posted at 12:13 PM, by werenotdeep.
May 20, 2003
More bad things need to happen to people.
Posted at 4:02 PM, by Joe.
May 19, 2003
it's actually kind of interesting.
Posted at 9:13 PM, by emily oi!.
Every nineteenth of the month, I have a lunch of cream cheese, crackers, salmon and nose bleeds. The nose bleeds just sorta seem to happen, though, I don't have them for lunch, that's not what I meant.
Posted at 12:33 PM, by werenotdeep.
May 18, 2003
"Play us a song," she yelled to our marching band in the big parade.
Posted at 9:20 PM, by razamin.
May 16, 2003
never, ever, under any circumstance, bitchslap a cactus.
Posted at 3:31 PM, by fucking archives.
I make my living drawing spacemen on soap.
Posted at 10:21 AM, by werenotdeep.
I saw how it all went down, in my nipples of the future.
Posted at 4:26 AM, by Das Hooligan.
que se pone superman cuando sale de la ducha?
Posted at 12:04 AM, by emily oi!.
May 15, 2003
My sister says that if her cat were a human being that the sexual tension would be unbearable.
Posted at 11:08 PM, by Joe.
A conversation between Ozzy Osbourne and Shane MacGowan: A subtitle writers’ worst nightmare.
Posted at 8:41 PM, by Das Hooligan.
To make a boring commute interesting, say "yeah" like Chuck D to every car going the opposite direction.
Posted at 4:25 PM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
Sure, he's a sicko, it's gross to even have to think about, and it's still illegal, granted. However, as Oliver Wendell Holmes points out, whereas the practice is still punishable by law, he is still allowed to beleive, preach, hold meetings in public, and publish literature that states that bestiality is every man's Dog-Given right.
Posted at 1:31 PM, by werenotdeep.
"You know something, guys, try dry docking one of those things sometime when you've just been pulled from the rigging area over some bullshit beaurocratic, political crap that's got nothing to do with you, and after you've lost feeling in your left hand and your comp claim gets denied because they found a doctor who they could pay to lie and say it's due to my badmitten after work. And oh yeah, and after aliens planted a chip in your head that makes you hear nearly sub-aural sound bytes of random words from a geographical encyclopaedia and you see yellow bunnies all the time." Everyone stopped laughing and got real quiet after that.
Then there was some cake, and then some other stuff happened. Then some dude came and gave me toothpaste, and like...some stuff...and gravity and birthday cards...wigs...yeah.
Posted at 1:26 PM, by werenotdeep.
May 14, 2003
Aldehydes are alkanals. Damn it.
Posted at 8:25 PM, by dan.
My sister said while we were walking: "I wish old men would smile at me more." then, "Oh shit, that didn't come out right."
Posted at 7:13 PM, by Joe.
helmets are the best hats ever made.
Posted at 4:38 PM, by fucking archives.
May 13, 2003
Step into the hail for a taxi. It's raining ice, but the cab driver says "Just relax". I get in the cab and then he says "Christ, you're all the way up town. You're white as a sheet, man. What have you been drinking?" I start telling him, but then he goes "Hey, the hail is really distracting me, could you keep it down, man?" Talk about inconsistent. I hope he's not mad that I threw up in the backseat just before he opened the door to let me out. At least it stopped hailing.
Posted at 12:40 PM, by werenotdeep.
Rubber bands, rubber sorting fingers, paperclips, binder clips, staplers, staple removers, and all because it was a city-wide holiday in Auckland.
Posted at 12:37 PM, by werenotdeep.
May 12, 2003
The worst thing about drooling during sleep is when the drooler wakes up to find that his or her mouth has been drained of all moisture. A dry, dead mouth is not a nice thing to wake up to. Drooler drooler drooler. I like typing drooooler.
Posted at 8:05 PM, by Joe.
Blink fast once, or blink fast twice. Either way you look at it, Hollysugar's Cigars are still the finest around.
Posted at 4:35 PM, by werenotdeep.
I shall name this child either Strom or Benji. Or Benjistrom.
Posted at 11:53 AM, by werenotdeep.
May 10, 2003
Allient energy: A national leader in reMOOable power.
Posted at 7:41 PM, by razamin.
Sure, every man’s tried to at least once in his life – but only a very few succeed. Damn those lucky bastards.
Posted at 12:59 AM, by Das Hooligan.
May 09, 2003
Why did they have to steal Piggy's glasses?
Posted at 10:35 PM, by emily oi!.
So I said "The only person who was even half good in 'The Lost Boys' was Keifer Sutherland.", and she angrily replied "Watch it mister, Keifer was at least at 110%."
Posted at 10:09 PM, by Joe.
Sometimes, people forget the point of all this.
Posted at 1:43 AM, by werenotdeep.
I think I'm going to go see a band tonight. They're really good. They're insane ninja space rangers that play jazz.
Posted at 1:42 AM, by werenotdeep.
May 08, 2003
Wait, when I told you earlier that I was "dancing in a cat suit," I meant to say that I was "dancing with the cat in a suit."
Posted at 7:01 PM, by Joe.
Don’t try to hatch fertilized chicken eggs in a microwave, they won’t hatch faster, they’ll just explode – quite messy (and kind of sad when you think about it).
Posted at 2:13 AM, by Das Hooligan.
The scariest thing I can think of right now: Chicken with a baby head - chicken with a baby head - chicken with a baby head. (Everything's scarier repeated three times.)
Posted at 1:22 AM, by Das Hooligan.
May 07, 2003
Ive known alot of gimps in my day, but you are by far the gimpiest.
Posted at 8:41 PM, by razamin.
They should put a minty flavoring in all poisons so that even if you're going to die, at least your breath will be fresh.
Posted at 2:06 PM, by werenotdeep.
I had a blue plastic tugboat that I used to take with me into the bathtub. You know, when I was younger. Like 24.
Posted at 2:05 PM, by werenotdeep.
Malty, gasoline ain't.
Posted at 2:01 PM, by werenotdeep.
Subtle, G.G. Allin ain't.
Posted at 1:47 PM, by Joe.
Exotic, Minnesota ain't.
Posted at 7:17 AM, by Eric Trondson-Clinger.
May 06, 2003
He will be given General Anesthstisia before going in for Major Surgery, where Admiral Doctor will use Corporel Scalpul to remove his Lieutennant Spleen. He will then recooperate in Private Quarters and be given a very specific Seargeant Diet of mostly Field Marshall Grains and Colonel Vegetables.
Posted at 1:50 PM, by werenotdeep.
Darren's mother makes a charming dish which she calls "Espionage Casserole".
Posted at 1:44 PM, by werenotdeep.
In this dream we were handcuffed at the wrist (running from the law I presume, or perhaps evading colourful villains of some sort – we were surely wronged in any case). I swear I didn’t peek when he was taking a piss...well that’s what I told him.
Posted at 12:13 PM, by Das Hooligan.
May 05, 2003
I resent how this blog records my thoughts in an exotic timezone other than my own.
Posted at 11:13 PM, by Joe.
I heard it was you who could only prevent forest fires.
Posted at 11:10 PM, by Joe.
From an article by Richard Trubo on MSN.com:
"Is happiness genetic?
Find out if you're destined to be unhappy (& what to do)
The Declaration of Independence describes one of our inalienable rights as "the pursuit of happiness." But for millions of people, happiness has remained rather elusive. They've tried to buy happiness. They've tried to force it. They've sought it through pleasurable activities. But nothing has seemed to work for them."
Posted at 11:09 PM, by Joe.
May 04, 2003
My cat has diebetis. There is nothing we can do.
Posted at 8:27 PM, by Matt.
May 01, 2003
The xaphoon is nicknamed "the pocket sax," but I really feel that it is much closer in likeness to a claranet.
Posted at 6:58 PM, by razamin.
My cat is offended by oranges. Therefore, I rubbed it on him.
Posted at 5:46 PM, by Moonie Johnson.
I keep wondering when they're going to figure out our dentist.
Posted at 4:46 PM, by werenotdeep.
Now that's a horse of a different opacity.
Posted at 4:46 PM, by werenotdeep.
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