boy toy digs
Eric Trondson-Clinger

I am going. I don't know exactly where we're going, but we will be going soon. Going to get drunk. With Tron. Brother. Beautiful June Nederlander of Ellie fame, now oh so hip. And me. I'm following them. Now they're at a pay phone. Now June's going to piss. No, she's not. Now I'm following her to S.A. for Coke. For rum of failed birthday party days that I have be rid of before meine vater comes to town. Yes? Yes. Cokes and smokes. And we're there. At the apartments at the bottom of the huge hill with the goddamn stop sign, ruining any super-fast slam dunk jam-a-rama speed rush bike rides to get up the next hill. It is pretty goddamn cold. June offers me a sweatshirt, but I say no to get my hip new olive green shirt from the(^) gap. It's her brother's apartment. They tell me his name is Scott and I'm thinkin is that that vague hockey lookin' guy from old high school days who seemed mean, but really you didn't know but you had sumthin' against anyway? It is. Weird. He has a case of Old Milwaukee. We head up to his apartment and I feel awkward, like big dumb quiet boy of always, till all is settled and we are going to play cards. Then I find out it's drinkin' games all around.

1. I am at Scott Nederlander's. 2. I am getting drunk with Scott Nederlander. 3. I am playin' a drinkin' game with Scott Nederlander. Wow. Scott Nederlander of when the going gets tough the tough go drinkin t-shirt fame. My first play I have to take eleven drinks. I remember I don't like beer. But it doesn't seem so bad after a few turns. And then the phone rang.

Hello? Yea, just a second. It's Nina. Didjew know Nina Christiansen? She was in your grade.

Yeah...I saw her underwear once.(no more of big dumb quiet boy, damnit) And then I must explain.

Fifth grade, in the day of the leather mini, predating the glorious Ruth Stahnish jean mini-skirt days. (what a glorious time to be in junior high) Yes, but these are leather mini boy toy Madonna digs. Yes? Ok. Reading class just after the country boy moves to the city maze phase and it's time read aloud in the oh so close-knit circle of fifth grade peers. Most the girls on the floor and some of us, being men, on chairs up above the others. We're cool ya see. Then Nina kneels down and there It is glaring at us. What to do. Pre-pubescent confusion of whether to be `psyched' or grossed out. What to do.

That's so hilarious! Scott and Nina have been going out for about four years. Hey Scott...(oh damn...)

I pay for it later in the President, vice-President, Treasurer, Asshole drinking game. I'm always the asshole.

Hey asshole, take ten drinks for lookin' at my girlfriend's underwear...